I didn't get in. I've never done a particularly good job of coping with rejection, so I'm not sure whether the pain I'm feeling right now is going to ebb soon or keep flowing. But getting over it now should be good practice -- I intend to do a lot of practice with exposing myself to rejection this year. (First of all, I intend to submit at least one of my Clarion application stories to a venue by the end of today, and probably start new edits on the other.) So, this means I'll be able to go to Readercon this year, which, then, means I need to get together money for registration and a hotel room. It also means I really need to buckle down on my writing over the next eight months, the time frame I have to write 2 new application stories for next year's Clarion. (And also I need to find out whether you can simultaneously apply to Clarion and Clarion West.)
I really wanted to go this year. I was really, particularly hoping for the opportunity to learn from Cory Doctorow and Kelly Link. (I only found out after I'd applied to Clarion that Neil Gaiman would be teaching at Clarion West. I'd love to learn under him, too.)
With a heavy heart, I've just turned off my Clarion IFTTT email alert. I'll turn it on again next year, after I've applied.
Oh, and to any other pattern-seekers waiting for their clarion emails: my rejection came within the same hour in 2013 as it did in 2010, on the third Monday of the month. Last time, it was a waitlist email, so my new guess is that the third Monday of March is when they send all the not-accepted-s. So that will be the date I set my anxiety to next year.
While I'm on the subject, now's a good time to brainstorm some potential writing rules for the rest of the year (I'll come back and look at them more carefully later):
- One short story first draft a week
- Pixar drill every day[1. See this post, rule #4. I've been writing synopses every night based on that format for a week or so now, and I think it's really helping.]
- Never let my Critters score drop below 75%.
- One story in the Critters queue at all times
- One short story second draft a week
- Every story gets at least three drafts
- Stories that have had three drafts have to be rejected 10 times before being revised again
- Read one short story from an SFWA qualifying venue every day
- Read at least two books a month
I'm not sure how many of those I can actually do, I'm going to have to pick more carefully to figure out what I can balance in with my school life, and, this summer, my job. And working for the school paper. And writing a research paper for prize money.
I will return tomorrow with a more carefully considered list of commitments, and a timescale on which they will last. For now, I'm going to spend a little bit of time feeling bad for myself, then get back to work doing all the crap I have to get done today.
Wish me luck.