My partner and I have started exercising. I don't normally exercise. It's been a reasonably long time since I've walked for more than ten minutes straight. But my various insecurities, anxieties, fears and prejudices that have held me back from getting in shape so far have been chipped away enough for me to have another go at being not totally unhealthy. It is exhausting.
I know that's the point and all, but I'm not even doing that much -- just ten minutes at a time -- and at the end of it I'm tired, in pain, emotionally drained, thirsty, hungry and nauseous. It's honestly harder to type afterwards.
And I'm uncomfortable talking about this, because I know there are loads of people who would be perfectly happy to remind me of all the reasons that I'm already insecure about this, to mock me for having not already done what I'm trying to do now. And being physically exhausted means I'm mentally exhausted (my brain being part of my body), which is one of my biggest apprehensions about exercise -- immediately afterwards, I'm just not equipped to deal with the kind of bullshit that floats to the top of most people's minds on the subject.