Last week's total: 168/350. Total-to-date as of last Friday: 2039/2700. Last week's score was not great, because it was Spring Break, and because I was out of clean clothes, and because it's just generally difficult to make myself do stuff, so even though I was out of pants on Monday, I didn't do laundry until Friday.
That said, and as much as this is evidence to the contrary, I don't think that not getting into Clarion was a major source of apathy last week. Actually, I think that was the one major motivating factor that made me do stuff last week, which is probably why I got more writing, editing, critiquing and submitting done than anything else in particular.
On the other hand, if I'd gotten into Clarion, I would probably have been motivated to do a lot of work, too... I'd want to be prepared, after all. And I would want to do my best to be worthy of the slot.
So, maybe... I'm just motivated? Like, in general, as a person? Thinking about it, it does fit with the evidence, when it comes to writing work. But it clashes with my self-concept, which is mainly rooted in decades of accumulated insecurity and low self-esteem. It seems like "Motivated" is too nice a way to put it, because what would have been a more accurate description five years ago is "Desperate for validation," and I don't think those are the same, even if they have similar symptoms.
I'm happy with my progress right now, and I don't feel like my self-worth is compromised by setbacks and temporary failures. This seems to me like a pretty huge deal.