I was reading one of Dan O'Brien's advice articles on Cracked -- Dan O'Brien is in close competition for being my favorite Cracked writer[1. The other candidates are David Wong, John Cheese, Christina H. and Michael Swaim.] -- and he linked to this dick:
For example, here is one of the greatest piano players in the world. He puts a cover song on YouTube once a week that he shoots in one take, with no rehearsals, playing from memory and by ear. Maybe you're jealous of his skill, but you need to remember, you have to be jealous of everything. So, if you covet his skill, you also have to covet the years he spent practicing and studying and learning instead of doing anything else.
Also, if you're jealous of his talent, you have to be jealous of his physical limitations, too. See, he got so good at the piano because he had a hard time moving around as a kid, because his entire lower torso was butt. No legs, just stacks of butt. Butts on butts. You may want his musical talents, but would you give up your legs? And replace them with butts?
The editor disclosed at the bottom of the article that this guy is, in fact, Thomas O'Brien, Dan's brother, and that he has working legs and the normal amount of butts.
He's got nine videos up on YouTube. As of right now, I have watched all of them. And I subscribed to his channel. I think it may have been an overstatement that he's one of the greatest piano players in the world, but nine videos each shot in one take and played by ear isn't much to go off of, and it's not like I'm remotely well-enough versed in piano to fairly judge anything more complicated than "This does/doesn't sound like a recognizable musical pattern."[2. And even then, I'm not qualified to distinguish between "Bad at piano" and "Doing brilliant, avant-garde things that other pianists listen to in awe but that I don't get."]