It's almost weekend again. I feel like it just started being not-weekend. I feel like time has started cycling, for me, faster and faster lately, on the scale of weeks. I mean, like, it's not like I've never had this feeling before. I think it's possible that this is the feeling I have all the time, and it's just that I only sometimes notice. I don't know what it would be like to not have a cyclical feeling about the passage of time.
But it's still really unsettling to notice. It's a reminder that my life has an unknown, finite duration, and that whatever I accomplish during it is just the total accumulated weight of the stuff I get done each passing week.
I really wish, sometimes, that I had volume control knobs on all my feelings. Turn up optimism a little, and confidence, turn down ennui and dread and nostalgia.