I gave myself an extra week to work on the third Solarpunk story, "Water," and I didn't use it. I am still pretty close to exactly as behind on that story today as I was when I wrote the previous extension post. I'm not really sure what to do with this, actually. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, because a big part of the reason I didn't work on it was because I've been feeling a lot of stress and anxiety lately, so I'm pretty sure worrying about the fact I didn't do a thing I didn't do isn't going to get me anywhere good. But I don't know if I should just let myself off the hook for it, either.
I've been letting myself off the hook for a lot lately, and I think that's probably a good thing because I used to beat the emotional shit out of myself all the time and it represents a pretty big psychological progress point that I don't do that quite so often anymore. But there has to come a point eventually where I've gone too far in that direction. The more slack I give myself, the more time I spend playing Minecraft, and the dimmer my hope for the future I really want for myself becomes. (Again: to a point. Pushing myself as hard as I did when I was 19 is more likely to push me into an institution or a grave than into a book deal.)
The extension was an experiment in slack, and now that it hasn't worked, I don't know where to go, with regards to that story set. Should I drop it? Having lost the thread, I feel a great barrier to picking it up again and I think there are other stories I could start more easily. I would like to let Solarpunk cook in my head a little longer before I try and write another story. The first two didn't have the genre baked in quite with the intensity I had hoped.
Or should I force myself back in? Writing's not just about being inspired. Sometimes it's work, and I've heard at least half of my favorite writers say that some of their favorite works have been the chunks of projects that they were forcing themselves through, and figured at the time they were just going to throw away. It's my understanding that you can't tell in the moment what's good and what's bad. And I don't want to lose the thread on Solarpunk altogether, which could happen.
In the spirit of indeterminacy, I don't really know how to end this post, either. So... er, fun tip for American chromebook users: if you leave your keyboard set to US International mode and you're having trouble with your apostrophe key, that's something the mode does. Switch it back to plain US and that key will work the way you expect it to, again. And question for international keyboard users: what's the deal with the way the apostrophe was behaving?