Standards for themes

Here are my hard-and-fast requirements for a theme:

  • It has to be able to display the whole post
  • It has to have a right-aligned sidebar
  • It has to be at least remotely customizable in color scheme
  • It has to allow me to disable any dumb images, sliders, headers or background styles it inserts without asking when I install it

I went through seven themes before I found one that meets three of those.  Not even all four.  Just three.  This one doesn't let me do anything with the colors.

It does, however, offer me eleven kinds of post format, a feature I don't need at all.

I realize I'm kind of emotional right now, but I really want to start crying.  I'm so pissed that this isn't easy.  That nobody appears to have made a blog format, anywhere on the internet, that offers versatile customization without knowledge of CSS.