Conservative columnists being angry about things

Sometimes I like to imagine a politician trying to advocate for the creation of something that already exists, and the general tone and content of the conservative think pieces that would come out in response.

Like, imagine if someone proposed that having a system of roads would be a good idea:
"Well, what are you going to do when it SNOWS? They'll be COVERED IN SNOW. Not so smart now, are you mr. roads?"
"We could have special vehicles with plows on them"
"That's pretty convoluted. It sounds to me like this whole thing is bound to fall apart"

And,

"How are you going to deal with it if bits of the road break?"

"What if there are holes? How about THAT, Mr. smarty-streets?"

Or farming:

"You want to plant nothing but corn in a WHOLE FIELD? Agri-Culture? More like Agri-NOPE."

Try it! It's a lot of fun.