I quit my job today. (I was definitely about to get fired, but they wanted me to work one last shift before we “had a conversation,” which I was not interested in doing.) It was a very Liberal job, in the sense of “As opposed to leftist.” Detail will come from somewhere at some point I’m sure, but for now that’s what I want to say.
Since I quit, I’ve had an explosion of energy, like a massive floodgate of agency and confidence has been opened. I feel capable of coming up with ideas, taking action to pursue them, I have no sense of ominous foreboding about the prospect of saying things online and I’m suddenly aware of how big that foreboding feeling was.
I think that most of my political/activist energy was being soaked up by that job, fighting to express my values within it against the friction of the organization. I’ve had to check out entirely on some big political actions going on around me, because they were literally making me ill to think about, and I wonder if that was because so much of my energy was getting sucked into that job.
I’m going to need to get another job soon (because my landlord isn’t going to cut me a break because I had an ideological epiphany) but I want to make the best of this chunk of time. So I’m going to be blogging again for at least each of the next five days, trying to figure out what I need to do and what I need to know in order to enter my next capitalist sponge environment better equipped to hold something back for myself.