So, my plan for today was: get up early, make some important phone calls, use the daylight to record a video about my upcoming panels at Arisia. I made this plan days ago. I was all set.
My guts made other decisions. Emetophobia cw.
Yesterday, I got lunch and hung out with a friend who I hadn't seen in a while. After a few hours, she was tired and I was feeling nauseous, so we decided to call it a night. Getting up, I started to feel a lot more nauseous. I asked her for some plastic bags for the ride home, just in case.
Then, in the 15 feet between her apartment door and the front of the building, I filled those bags with vomit.
Fortunately, she heard me, and came out to help, and gave me some fresh bags for the ride home. It was all very embarrassing.
Then when I got back home, it got so, so much worse.
I was dying of thirst all night, but I literally couldn't hold down water. I'd hold out as long as I could, then drink small sips, then drink more, then, overwhelmed with the building nausea and dread I'd finish the bottle I was on so that I could just throw up already and get it over with. I lost a stomachful of water four times last night.
Eventually I settled into just chewing on ice, and drinking some ginger tea that my mom made me, very slowly, and that seemed to work. I managed to stop throwing up.
But all day today I've been in horrific pain, from all the strain I put on all my muscles, from all that throwing up.
It's getting better. At this point I'm more or less functional -- from about noon onward I've been well enough that I can use my phone and laptop without the light and sound overwhelming me.
The vlog I was going to record -- that I'll still be recording tonight -- is mostly about the things I'm doing to put myself in a better health state, to be ready for Arisia. It feels very ironic to know I'll be recording that while I feel like I'm being kicked in the ribs by invisible goats at random intervals all day. But I also don't really want to talk about this in the video, so I wanted something to reference and link to.