Why yesterday was missing and today was late

I didn't realize I hadn't blogged yesterday until about 1 a.m.; when I finally thought to check, it was after I had taken my pills, and I was already so close to passing out for the night that I didn't have the energy to adjust into a sitting position where I could put both hands on the keyboard. 

I hate missing blog posts. I'm going to have to look at that hole on my sidebar, on Thursday Feb. 4, for the rest of the month, plus every time I go back through my archives forever. 

The last time I missed a day was December 8. Before that was June 17. Then March 17, then January 2, then in 2014 there are missed days almost every month until May, when there are only two blog posts. Scrolling back through my calendar like that is like shuffling through a really strange kind of mental decay. I remember why I only had two posts in May -- it's because I was focusing on school, so I put the blog on the back-burner. Now, I'm in a much more intense program than I was in back then, and I'm still managing to keep up -- on the other hand, I have fewer jobs and a safer space to regroup at the end of the day.

Still, I have days like yesterday, in which I just couldn't keep enough of my mind present to get everything done, or today, when I got back from dinner and shortly thereafter passed out for two and a half hours.