My immortal soul is in the news

My soul got covered by the Valley Advocate!

T.X. Watson, a transgender student at Hampshire College, is planning to sell their soul as part of their senior graduation project in art. The reason: Watson will have about $45,000 in debt upon graduation, and parting with their soul seems to be the best way of paying it off.
“I either sell my soul now or sell my soul in a slow metaphorical grind, taking jobs I don’t want so that I can make the payments,” Watson says.
What good is Watson’s soul to someone else? Actually, Watson’s answer makes a good amount of sense: “It’s a limited edition of an early work of a potentially successful working artist. If I succeed as an artist, it is literally an investment, and for a limited edition print, $45 is a really good price.”
The show will go up from April 8 to 11 at the gallery at the Hampshire College library.
This feels strange to write, but I hope that Watson succeeds in selling their soul. With the failure of a political solution for student debt, it seems as viable a solution as any to live a life without crippling, lifelong debt.

Valley Advocate: Literally Selling Your Soul to Pay for an Education

Back at Hamp

I'm back at Hampshire!

Update for folx following this blog: I'm switching to writing only when I have updates to publish about my life -- like the Arisia posts, or when I publish new content. That might mean the blog is a little sparse for a while, but I think it's a better use of the space than five-times-weekly posts that say "I'm working, I swear, I just can't talk about it right now" or "I feel bad that I haven't been blogging."

Arisia 2018 was great!

Hey everyone who found this site because I met you at Arisia -- welcome! If you're looking for info on how to buy shares of ownership in my soul, here's a link to the page you're looking for. I've updated it to have an in-person shipping option, which means if you live in the Amherst area or are planning to come to the gallery show and want to pre-order, but don't want to pay the (admittedly expensive) shipping rates for getting USPS to safely transport artwork, you can pick that one and get in touch with me about arranging a meeting.

I had an amazing time this weekend. Regrettably I had to go home before the Monday sessions, so if I missed you today because of that I'm sorry. But feel free to get in touch! (Seriously I don't think I met anybody this weekend I wouldn't want to hear from? Which is really a lucky outcome. Y'all're great.)

My next convention is Readercon, in Quincy, where I hope I'll see some of you, and in the meantime you can check here, or my Twitter (@txwatson) Instagram (@txwatson) or Tumblr (@txwatson) to stay updated.


What do I do with this space?

Okay so here's the thing. I've been blogging every day as a life practice since like 2008. I haven't always done a great job of being consistent, I haven't always managed to keep up with it. But it's been a big part of my life for almost a decade.

But the way I relate to this space, as a venue for my ideas, has changed. I don't want to put good writing here. If I'm going to put work into something rigorous I'm going to put it into schoolwork, or something I plan to publish. If I'm just looking to get my feelings off my chest, I take that to Tumblr or Twitter. My biggest hobby passion, solarpunk, has its own blog altogether.

And I know I get a nonzero number of hits on this website every day, but I do feel like when I write here, I'm writing to nobody. That used to be fine, but now there are lots of places where I can write something and I know there are people listening.

And I worry that these emotional pour-outs that wind up being the only content on this blog most of the time are going to reflect poorly on me when people come to my website looking to find out about T.X. Watson, the Professional Person with Jobs and Skills. Functionally speaking, this is the least safe place on the internet for me to talk about my anxieties, mental illness, activism, personal life, and other non-normative struggles.

Obviously, I can't keep up the volume of work I've committed myself to, with respect to updating this blog. But I feel really uncomfortable with the notion of just making this website a bulletin board for the stuff I'm doing elsewhere on the internet. I want my own website to feel like home to me. I don't want it to just be my LinkedIn page. 

I feel very sad, thinking about this. I don't know what the right answers are, and I don't know how to move past this ambivalence. 

If anybody is reading this, now would be a good time to let me know what you feel like you get from this website, as it exists now.

Website Update

I've added two new pages to my website:

The "Div 3" page covers, obviously, my Division III, "Memetic Engines of Anticapitalism." At some point this semester, that page will be replaced with its own website.

"My Soul" is where you can go to preorder shares of ownership in my soul, for $45 each.

I also updated the "About" page.

Wow, that decayed fast

I don't have answers for how to handle this right now but I think I need to come up with a new relationship to these works for the remainder of my diiiv. My blog and my vlog are both pretty heavy creative investments, and obviously I can't keep up with them amid the work I'm doing for school. 

Right now I'm about to sit down for the night and try and ingest a huge amount of text, so maybe that'll get my flywheel spinning fast enough to actually make decisions by 5 a.m. If not, hopefully I'll have it figured out by the time I head out to Arisia.

Anyway, tty Monday. (I wanna say "I promise" but I really can't.)

Creepy stories and imaginary songs

ok so not only did I forget to blog yesterday until after midnight, but I'm about to write about a dream I had. So idk if this is peak boring but I don't feel awesome about where my creative energy is at right now.

CW: death mention, unreality, subconscious suicidal ideation?

The dream I had last night had a lot going on in it, but the only part I definitely remember is the part where I got on stage at a stadium-size show to do a cover of a Smiths song. In the dream, the song was about being in love with a friend and that friend being in love with you, and there was a metaphor about being able to fly. Like, float. We could hold hands and jump and would be on top of a roof, and then bounce down safely as we drifted towards the ground. I couldn't remember the lyrics until I started, and when I did they came to me, and I flew out over the crowd and into the song.

When I woke up, I had "There is a light that never goes out" stuck in my head. Particularly, this sequence:

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

I've been watching a lot of the YouTube channel "Night Mind" lately, and one thing that often comes to mind is I find it difficult to wrap my head around how creators of horror make these surreal decisions about the realities of their works. This is the kind of thing I mean. Dreaming about a song, and knowing it's about love and lightness and fun, and waking up and realizing that the song is about wanting to die.

Don't worry, I'm safe, I'm not planning to hurt myself. But damn that was a disturbing experience.


It's really hard to remember to do things before midnight when midnight starts to turn into noon.

My sleep schedule was okay for, like, a day, then it went right the fuck back out the window. Mostly what I've done today is work on the secret project, so I can't write about that. Not thrilled to go back from "Hey I know how to talk again!" to "Oops all I can write is 'it sucks that I can't write,'" but here we are. I at least didn't want to start missing posts again.

TMBG song contest and my first real secret on Patreon

They Might Be Giants's recent song, "I Left My Body," is the subject of a new music video contest! 

Folx who know me in person may have seen my video for "Erase," which I made with my friend Sal and which did not win any of the top three places. (I choose to believe that means it was fourth-best, and given the winners I'm not embarrassed to have lost.)

I'm entering the new contest as well, this time working on something animated.

I also just made my first secret post on my Patreon that contains a real secret! (Apart from the NSA-level ones, but nobody's paying for that tier yet.) It's about another project for my diiiv that actually does require some level of hush to function. It's not, like, state-secret, but I don't want my involvement to be determinable by light googling yet.

(Wow, leaving the house today made it way easier to work up the energy to talk about things other than how guilty I feel that I never talk about things here.)


I haven't updated my vlog at all this month since the first episode of the series. today, for the first time, I really tried to put something together.

I'm extremely behind on all my major personal grooming habits and right now I feel really gross and don't want to put myself on camera. I've also generally been feeling pretty sick and in pain, and that stands in the way of getting around to those time, labor, and energy-intensive tasks. My hair is about 3x too long, more of it is black than bleached, I haven't shaved in over a week, I *think* I've showered more recently than that but I can't remember.

I was in withdrawal from one of my meds all last week. This week I've been doing an awful job of taking them on time. I haven't been sleeping at night pretty much at all, today I went to sleep at noon and only just woke up about a half an hour ago.

I'm glad Christmas is finally over with but there's a while yet before I'm out of the particular kind of weeds this holiday represents to my emotional state.

And I can hear my older brother downstairs, I think. So it looks like I'm not getting any of this stuff done tonight.

It hasn't been a good month for me getting shit posted

It's been a solid week since I've written anything here. Last week was moving home from school, and I'm just barely getting my feet back under me. (I'm not really. I've mostly been sleeping from like 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. I'm getting at most one thing done per day.)

I really hate not being at school. Winter break is bullshit. (And don't get me started on summer.)

Patreon: My soul

00 CURRENT certificate of ensoulment-01.jpg

I've got another project I'm adding into my diiiv. This one is simple: I'm selling my soul. 

The art above is the in-progress artwork, and there's a lot of work to be done on it before I'm satisfied. Since I don't actually believe in souls, I feel it's important that folx who buy shares in mine get something of value regardless of whether I'm wrong about that, so my intention is for this piece to be a genuinely beautiful art object. I've put a couple weeks into this already, and that logo (which, admittedly, didn't export that well to JPG) is currently on its fourth draft.

I haven't worked out the math all the way yet, but they're going to be priced somewhere between $30 and $50. My intention is that if I can sell all 1000, it will pay off my student debt. (I want to get some very definite answers about how this income will be taxed before I set the price.)

I'm also gonna send one to each of my backers who've supported me for long enough to have effectively paid for one by the time they go up. This post is going public, so anybody who wants to jump on board for that can secure a copy in case they sell out right away!

I had my final crit for my only class this semester. I've still got a crit left for the class I'm auditing. 

Today really sucked at first. I had to talk to -- I got talked at by -- a cop. And everywhere you can get things printed in color was closed when I needed to access a printer. 

I don't have the energy to type out the details but that was the overall tone of the first few hours of my day. But it started getting better, then didn't really stop. By now I feel like I had a generally good day with a bad couple hours.

So, like, that's a thing that happens? I think that's important. I was having what really looked like it was going to be a bad day and then it kinda didn't wind up being that.