Jesus Christ, today was a nightmare.
An upcoming vlog will detail how my pharmacy failed to fill a prescription during a span of three solid days. I was in Zoloft withdrawal all day, and had a number of very stressful conversations. (Nothing shitty, just heavy).
There were... Also other things. Which I remembered when I started this post. My dad picked up my meds for me so I have those but I only took them like an hour ago so I think I'm still sort of in withdrawal mode.
What even happened today? I'm so tired. Like, tired in ways I don't quite understand. Maybe I just haven't eaten enough food? Like, maybe I'm starving? Or maybe this is a depression thing. It feels like it might be a depression thing, because the tiredness seems sort of connected to specific tasks. Like getting dressed. I haven't gotten dressed today, and thinking about it makes me want to pass out.
My vlog probably isn't happening today.
This is a big topic and I am not in the headspace for it, but also I'm definitely going to pass out soon and I can think of literally nothing else to talk about.
You know how some words rhyme? And how some words sound like other words? And how just the physical, phonetic shape of words can suggest relationships to other words, regardless of the meaning those words carry?
That's a big deal. The ability to rhyme two concepts makes the connection between them more memorable. Same with puns. It's an argument in favor of a point that comes for free, because first of all there's usually nothing about any given two words that make for a good rhyme that actually suggests they're fundamentally connected, and secondly even if they do have an etymological link that link could be based on the errors and prejudices of past civilizations. Probably is, in fact.
These linkages limit our thinking, confining the possibility space of applications of concepts not by strictly blocking any paths off, but by grabbing you by the hand and dragging you down the most grammatically obvious link.
I wonder frequently what kind of insights we're missing just because the best way to phrase them is grotesque or uncomfortable? Just, like, hard to read, hard to write, hard to share?
Suddenly the end of the summer feels very close, and I don't have as much as I'd like done for my diiiv. Today I started compiling an outline for the monograph -- before now it's just been disparate notes -- and a bibliography, to keep track of the things I want to cite.
And I've only got, like, parts of two pages written for the comic. I want to get a first draft of the first 40 before I leave.
I looked so dour in the last episode of my vlog? Like, completely deflated. I've been thinking about that for a few days.
I just recorded the next episode, it's currently traveling from my phone to my Google Drive, and I don't know whether I managed to seem any more energetic. I definitely had a topic I was more specifically passionate about. But I had the idea for it two days ago? And I worry that I got through all my anger thinking it through and none of it actually made it onto the track.
I feel so different, so unlike myself when it's been months since I've been around friends every day. My flywheel's not spinning.
If you were thinking about it but weren't sure whether this whole kickstarter thing was going to pan out, now would be a great time to jump in and get an early backer discount on the game. (By the way, have I mentioned that the game is fun? Because it's really fun.)
My sleep schedule is wrecked. Today I woke up at 9 a.m., 11 a.m., 2 p.m., and 6 p.m. I probably won't fall asleep until about 4 a.m.
I'm going to try and sledge-hammer things back into place tomorrow.
Sorry I missed posting yesterday. This is why.
I just remembered when I sat down to write this post that when I was in high school I had the opportunity to play with adobe Flash, back when it was a thing, and I made a little animation of a waffle getting covered in syrup, which then said "Maple Syrup" in a squeaky, high-pitched voice.
I decided to try and check out Clip Studio Paint's animation features today -- which I did just before we had an all-team meeting for Duzax Studios's upcoming Kickstarter launch. (I will be blogging about that next week and also probably all month fyi.)
So I had just discovered that, apparently, basic, sketchy animation is very easy in Clip Studio. So I offered to try and animate the basic actions of the game, for a tutorial.
That was at about 3 p.m. It's 10:30 now, and I'm almost done the third of four of these two-second animations. That's almost 8 hours of almost straight-through work doing very simple animations and I'm not even hitting an hour of labor per second of footage but it's SO MUCH FUN
I expect these animations will be shared some time soon on Duzax's social media, at which point I'll definitely be sharing them here.
This is all I talk about now apparently
I got hired for my first commissioned art today. So it turns out posting that you're open for commissions works way better on a social network style website where you have hundreds of connections than it does on an obscure side-page of your obscure personal website where you mostly complain about work anxiety.
Vlog may be delayed until tomorrow depending on how I feel after the energy bump from the work winds down.
Hey y'all, I’m broke!
But, like, more than usual. It’s reached the point where my fear of the consequences of continuing to not get hired for freelance work exceeds my fear of the consequences of asking my social sphere to pay me for stuff, or to signal boost the ask.
So I’m opening up for commissions! (I mean, technically I’ve been open to commissions for a long time but I’m p sure nobody has ever clicked on the “hire me” link on my website but me.)
Hit “Read more” for details, and please share if you feel comfortable doing so.
- $10 for a single figure, in line art or monochrome
- $20 for a single figure, flat colors or painterly
- $30 for basic graphic design (and I’m happy to discuss prices for larger or more in-depth brand work)
- Starting at $40 for full scene painting, tell me what you’re looking for and we can work out the price.
I work mainly in Clip Studio Paint Pro, but I also own and am comfortable with Photoshop and Illustrator. And also like most of the Adobe Suite but they’re not all super relevant here.
If you’re interested, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
No categories of squick currently published but I reserve the right to turn down any commission. (I promise not to be an asshole about it if I do.)
Links to those of the pieces in the above images that I’ve published: